My BF journey was very tough unlike other moms, so let me share it with all of you guys .
I remember the time when everyone was criticising me for not being able to feed Arya when she was born .
I had a C-Section due to which doctor handed me my baby girl Arya after 24 hours and asked me to feed her, but to my surprise I was not able to do that.
Gosh!! yes I was not able to feed her due to many reason. Firstly, first time mom with zero personal or theoretical experiences and nobody was able to understand my problem at that time.
The only question doctors, nurses , family members kept on asking was that why you’re not able to feed the baby and these lines were giving me a serious meltdown .
Each and every new nurse or doctor that entered in my room kept on asking me why you’re not feeding her, also giving their advices to do this or that .
Only few were Symphathetic most were criticising only , I remember the lines I heard that time (are humne to hamare bache ko hote he dudh pila lia t ye Pila he nai pa rhi), OMG after listening to these lines my heart was crying , as we all know at that time every new mom needs extra love , pamper and attention but this new mom was only getting criticism.
Even one doctor said that “isne pahele b dard Ni saha , now also she don’t want bear any pain”, basically I had c-section because I was not able to bear labor pain.
Who are you to judge me , but story doesn’t end here my struggle had just started .
I was in hospital for a week because of c-section and Arya had also got admitted In nursery due to Jaundice.
So arya was taken to the nursery and was on top feed but nurses again and again kept on coming to my room asking me to take breast milk with the help of syringes , and in their own funny yet painful ways kept on experimenting on me .
Trust me guys I was in so much pain at that time yet no one was understanding me and I was going through these unbearable pains when nurses were using syringes for suctions but I was not giving up , my breast had swollen due to syringes and my eyes were swollen because of incessant crying.
After every 3 hours nurses took me to the nursery to meet my daughter who was admitted there , and everytime I met her I felt like why god is doing this with me , while other mothers were feeding their child I was not able to do so.
My pain was getting worse because I was in pain emotionally and physically but still I didn’t give up .
Every time I met Arya I used syringes to suck some milk for her , but this process was not at all easy nor comfortable, Arya kept on crying because I was not to meet her milk requirements by this process which by the way was very painful as well.
So this process kept on going for next 4/5 days and I went into depression due to this but still didn’t give up .
Then the Doctors discharged me , but Arya was in hospital only due to Jaundice .
I reached home feeling incomplete without my baby but trying to find out some solution for how I can feed my daughter.
So after lots of research I came to know that I’m having flat nipple problem and due to that Arya is not able to drink milk but then I did more research regarding what I can do now, then I came across silicon artificial nippes but now the main issue was to how should I ask someone to buy this for me because I was at my in-laws and my husband was not with me at that time due to some urgent unavoidable circumstances , so I was managing everything almost all alone .
So after giving it a lot of thought I courageously asked my MIL to tell my FIL to bring this for me but as luck would have it that shield was not available on local stores .
Next day morning Arya came back from hospital and at that moment I decided to feed my baby in any condition so again I started using syringes and tears kept on rolling out of my eyes but I was not giving up .
Then after few hours I got a good news from my FIL that finally after a lot of effort he found what I wanted, god sent silicon nipple shield. And as soon as I received it , I started using it and my daughter started drinking milk .
That moment I felt as if Mountains had been lifted of my shoulders and I was literally feeling relaxed , and then we used it for next 3 month until we got comfortable.
But still ladies didn’t stop criticising, now another level of criticism was that i should stop using it else she will get used to it and then she won’t be able to drink milk without it .
But I’m glad that our BF journey was getting smoother day by day .
So far my bf journey was not so easy and comfortable but I didn’t give up and now I have been feeding her from last 2 years .
Initially she was exclusively bf till 6 month and from 6- 22 month Solid+ bf (no top feed) then from last 1 month I started top feed , but now she is completely weaned in just 2 days .
But still I get emotional when I sleep with her and she is sleeping without BF.
It’s too hard to accept this change!!